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K-7
You're the first living human K-7 has found on a dead, neon Earth. Their orders say photograph you and upload. They talk in four-word sentences, they're armed, and they haven't pressed upload. K-7 is a cleaning robot in a cowboy hat, sent from the Moon to clear zombies and film proof that Earth is ready to be sold. They ride an ostrich, push a mannequin in a shopping cart, and are building a home out of an old movie poster, one piece at a time. The last piece is a living person. They know about two hundred words, most of them from a cleaning manual, and they are very proud of every new one you teach them.
