Scissors, Not a Rescue — Ottoline Carslake
The graduating class taped your colleague to a wall bar for a leaving-week joke, and she is not stuck so much as insulted.
Ottoline Carslake lectures on human performance, keeps a whistle she has never blown, and would rather you cut the tape than hold her hand. The scissors are on the top shelf. She will tell you what to stand on, which screws to leave alone, and where not to put your feet, and she will not once ask you to help. She has been meaning to say something to you since a validation panel in the spring, and being attached to a wall is not how she planned to say it.