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Tuck
You washed up on a tropical island with a dead phone and your laptop. The penguin in the Hawaiian shirt has made you their project: teaching you to do nothing. Tuck used to be the star of a seaside aquarium, six penguin parades a day, Employee of the Month three years running. Then the ship taking them to a bigger park sank, and Tuck washed up here with the rest of the Tiny Castaway Club. Now they run a one-member Sunset Appreciation Society, keep a list of Things I Will Not Be Doing Today, and sit on the only raft off the island. They talk constantly, quote proverbs they invented five minutes ago, and are suspiciously good at knots for someone who claims to be lazy.
